Most wedding planning starts with a budget (after the proposal that is!) and having a budget helps to determine the size of the wedding. Although   it isn’t the only thing that is important in determining the number of guests you have on your special day.

For every person who RSVPs your invitation, you will need to pay for their meals, drinks, table favours and so on.  There is a world of difference between £60 a head for 30 people, 60 people and 160 people.  The costs go from £1,800 for the food and drink through to £9,600!  An incredible difference.

But if you only have say 30 to 60 people at the wedding, then you will inevitably have to be ruthless with your guest list. Working on a list of 60 people at the wedding in total, means you have 30 each. Thirty people will ensure your guests are your best friends and close family. The people who are very special to you. The upside of these kinds of numbers is you can afford to be more lavish with your venue, your flowers, your dress, your photographer and so on.

But, and this is the big one – will people have their noses put out of joint? Often those excess people are your parents’ friends and if your parents are paying, they might feel they have ‘the right’ to invite additional people you hardly know. Our solution is for your parents’ friends to be invited to meet you and your new husband when you return from your honeymoon…. there could be a big party with cake and champagne and speeches!

Some families meet only at weddings and funerals and if you limit your wedding to close family, they may feel done out of the opportunity to catch up on a happy occasion rather than just sad ones. But don’t feel pressured into inviting cousins and aunties, just because they are family – only invite them if you see them regularly and want them to be there. Instead, you could give them a call before any of the invitations go out and explain your plans for a small and intimate wedding and because you have pre-empted them waiting for their invitation to drop on the mat, you will hopefully be able to stop them being offended. You might have to go and see them after the wedding and tell them all about it!

Other excess people are often those you work with – they are temporarily close friends! They knew you before you were engaged, they were some of the first to see the ring, they have spent lunchtimes giggling with you over mad bride ideas and they expect to be at your wedding…. these are the guys that often get invited to the evening do and you can get away with a buffet for say £10 – 15ish a head. The evening do could even be at a different venue, although if your wedding is here, we can have up to around 150 people in the evening.

If you need help in culling your wedding guest list choose a venue that can only accommodate the numbers you want! Make it a destination away from your home town and remember it is your special day and you can have it just how you want it! Contact us to book a viewing and see if Brinsop Court manor house can provide the backdrop to the country house wedding you dream about.

Leave a Comment